Articles Posted in Divorce

Divorce is never an easy task to get through, but most of us survive it and can even end up happier on the other side. Then the holiday season arrives. The holidays are hard to get through even in the most perfect circumstances, so how does one survive the holidays when newly divorced or still going through a divorce? It’s no easy task but the way you handle it will not only determine how enjoyable the holidays are for your children, but how much you enjoy yourself around the holidays as well (which is likely well deserved).

According to the article below, the overriding theme to remember during the holidays following your divorce is that “you do you.” Sure, it sounds cliché, but really, you have just come out of what most would argue was not an ideal marriage, so why not focus on your happiness for a change? Here are some tips on how to make your life easier during the holidays:

https://www.scarymommy.com/not-creature-was-stirring-surviving-holidays-divorce/

Most people agree that going through a divorce isn’t easy. Even despite best efforts to work together and remain amicable with a soon-to-be ex-spouse during and following a divorce, doing so sometimes proves trickier than people anticipate. Luckily, there are now have several useful apps that can make interacting with your ex-spouse a little easier as outlined in the USA Today article below:

7 Divorce Apps Help Navigate Life With Your Ex

OurFamilyWizard is an app that many parties with children use. OurFamilyWizard, sometimes referred to as OFW, has several features which parents find useful, the first of which is a secure message board for parents to communicate through. This is helpful if parents find communicating through other methods, such as texting, difficult. Some of the app’s other features include an interactive calendar which parents can use to schedule who has the kids on which days and what upcoming extra-curricular activities the children may be participating in. It also has an expense logto help track the children’s expenses so that one parent can easily reimburse the other. Parents can also upload receipts and invoices for these expenses, and for an added fee, even make payments within OurFamilyWizard.  The app also has the ability to store medical history, insurance information, emergency contact information, and school schedules. OurFamilyWizard costs $99 annually.

As part of their “Blended Family Friday “series, the Huffington Post ran the following article about two divorced parents and how they “co-parent” their child.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/05/advice-for-blended-families-_n_7515012.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

The article highlights just how important it is for parents to work together to raise their children, even after they are separated. Divorced or separated parents are often so angry at the other parent, that they cannot see past their issues with each other to really work together to figure out what is best for their children. When parents cannot agree on issues such as schooling, visitation schedule changes and even day-to-day parenting issues, they are left with little choice but to turn to their attorneys, requesting discussions with opposing counsel and/or the court’s intervention. This results in both parties incurring significant and often unnecessary, attorney fees and costs, and causes stress not only for the parents, but for the children as well. Ultimately, it results in a judge making a decision about children he or she has never met. Clearly, a child’s parents are better suited to be making such decisions.

Some San Jose divorce, custody and/or support matters are assigned to a department where a judge is presiding, while other matters are heard in front of a commissioner. So, what is the difference between the two, and is one better than another?

A judge is elevated to the bench either by election or by appointment by the Governor. A judge must also be a licensed attorney to be eligible to serve on the bench. A commissioner, on the other hand, is an individual who is hired by the court to help out with a judge’s case load. Commissioners must also be licensed attorneys to be eligible to serve as a commissioner. Often, Commissioners work very closely with judges, and judges consider them essential for managing the work of the court.

Commissioners can perform judicial duties involving the determination of contested issues only upon the stipulation of the parties, but with that stipulation they have the same powers as judges. That means that the commissioner has the same power as a judge to hear a court case and make legally binding judgments. Per California Code of Civil Procedure Section 259, “[s]ubject to the supervision of the court, every court commissioner shall have power to do all of the following:

Most people recognize that divorce isn’t easy on children, no matter what the circumstances surrounding the divorce are. However,  for may reasons, it is helpful to try to keep the divorce process as low-conflict and as amicable as possible.

Some couples are implementing “nesting”, also known as “birdnesting”, as a way to ease the impact of divorce on their children. So what is nesting? Generally, nesting occurs where parents keep the main house and then share a separate house or apartment where they will stay when they are not at the main home with the children.

The idea behind nesting is that it is less disruptive for the children to remain in the family home, and have the parents rotate to the separate location, as opposed to shuffling children back and forth between two different households. This type of nesting is beneficial to children because not only do they get to stay in a home that is familiar to them (and thus relieving the need to take belongings to different homes), but it often allows them to remain at the same school and keep in touch with friends.

Trump’s administration has recently made several changes to current tax laws and among many other areas, the tax implications of divorce have been greatly affected. If there has ever been a time to “hurry up and get a divorce” it may be now.

A change in the new tax laws will eliminate a major break that many often took into consideration when contemplating divorce. That is the ability to deduct alimony or spousal support payments on your taxes. Any divorces finalized after December 31, 2018 will no longer receive the benefit of this tax deduction, which is why countless lawyers and financial advisors are warning clients who are contemplating divorce to act fast.

Agreements signed before the end of the year will still qualify for this deduction, but this can have huge financial implications when one party earns significantly more than the other. For decades, individuals paying alimony or spousal support to a former spouse were able to deduct the payments from their taxes, which often prompted the paying spouse to pay slightly more than they normally would agree to. This could have a huge impact on the paying spouse especially when there is a large gap in income between the two parties. According to the IRS, a staggering 600,000 Americans claim this deduction.

https://www.lawyers.com/legal-info/family-law/divorce/pros-and-cons-of-using-a-private-judge-in-my-divorce.html

The above article posted on lawyers.com discusses some of the pros and cons of using a private judge in your divorce case. If you are considering hiring a private judge or are wondering whether it might be right for you, contact Argyris Mah, LLP at (408) 564-5674. We can discuss your case with you, answer your questions, and provide you with expert advice as to whether a private judge might be right for your case.

There are many costs to divorce, including the obvious costs of attorney fees, court filing fees, support payments, etc. However, many people often overlook the significant costs associated with maintaining two households, versus one. A recent article on SF Gate addressed the significant costs associated with physically separating including obtaining at least one or two new residences, furnishing those residences, moving, and maintaining the costs for said residence, without the benefit of two incomes. In some cases, given the extremely high cost of living in California, and particularly the Bay Area, this can be almost impossible. As such, it appears that many people are choosing, or being forced, to remain living together, despite a separation or actual divorce.

https://m.sfgate.com/mommyfiles/article/live-in-divorce-San-Francisco-separation-cost-12770531.php

The costs associated with living separately can have a significant effect on a couple’s divorce case and can be a factor when determining spousal support, child support and property division.

People.com recently reported that in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce case, a family law judge has made an order that Brad Pitt may contact the parties’ children directly, at any time.

https://people.com/movies/brad-pitt-unrestricted-phone-access-kids-report/

Communication between a non-custodial parent and the children is often a “hot button” issue in contentious custody and divorce cases. Contact us at (408) 564-5674 for a free 20-minute telephone consultation and we can answer questions related to this issue, and any other questions you have relating to your San Jose divorce or custody case.

Earlier this week, it was announced that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting divorced, and the internet went crazy. There were articles on all of the news outlets websites, memes and jokes about how happy Jennifer Aniston must be, and rampant speculation about the causes of the divorce: did Brad cheat? Is he an alcoholic? Etc., etc., etc. What no one mentioned is that these are two people who are likely going through one of the most difficult times in their lives, and who have 6, that’s right, SIX minor children. What happens to the kids in all of this?

We hear about celebrity divorces so often, that it is almost as if they are not real to us “regular” people. When one of our family members or friends announces a divorce, we reasonably react with sympathy, support and worries about the kids. Yet, when a celebrity announces a divorce, we seem to forget that they are actual people, with feelings, and with assets and debts that need to be divided, and children whose best interests need to be considered – children who will certainly be impacted by the separation of their parents and will now be dividing time between those parents, rather than living with both parents as a family. Simply because they are celebrities, does not make them immune to the difficulties involved in a divorce, both emotional and legal.

For example, it was reported that Angelina Jolie has requested sole custody of the children. When news like that is reported, it comes with such drama. But, in reality, a request for custody and visitation orders involves procedural requirements, court appearances, and in a Santa Clara County divorce case, mandatory mediation requirements. Further, a request for sole custody of children in California, and in Santa Clara County specifically, is a big deal. The courts are not likely to grant such a request unless the parent requesting sole custody can show that the other parent poses a significant threat to the children’s health, safety or welfare. This is because children have a right to frequent and continuous contact with both parents.

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