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San Jose Family & Divorce Lawyers / Blog / Divorce / 8 Signs Your Marriage May Not Last

8 Signs Your Marriage May Not Last

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It may be surprising, but for the best place for relationship advice and insight, it may be best to turn to your divorce attorney.

After all, we have a front row seat to any and every relationship problem that may pop up. Your divorce attorney has a daily encounter with the drama that can break up even the most solid of marriages. Sometimes, it is painfully obvious when a relationship is heading for disaster, but other times, it can be the most subtle issues that surprisingly lead to a divorce.

Family law attorneys across the country have listed the following as the most obvious signs that a couple is heading to divorce:

1. The couple gives each other the silent treatment
Family law attorneys agree that it’s a bad sign when a couple constantly fights and ends the fights by ignoring each other. Of course, some fighting is always healthy, but when a couple is continuously stonewalling each other or doesn’t even care to make the effort to fight anymore, but would rather just ignore each other and their problems, it is likely they are heading for divorce.

2. Lack of sex life
Sure, we all have ups and downs in this department and people can go without sex, but the bottom line is that we are human and sex is a natural desire. While we have seen relationships that can survive without this aspect, it is not shocking when clients tell us that they have gone a significant amount of time without having sex with their partner.

3. The couple has very little in common
Yes, it is true that opposites tend to attract. But the qualities that brought you together in the beginning of your relationship may not be enough to make your marriage last. For example, an introvert that loves to stay home may not be able to sustain a particular lifestyle with an extrovert that enjoys being out with friends often.

4. Careers come first
It can be a significant problem when one spouse always puts their career before their family and relationship. This tends to be true and cause problems regardless of any agreements or understanding the parties came to prior to or even during the marriage. Now spouse wants to be considered anything less than first priority, especially when children are involved. This issue can decay even the best of marriages over time, particularly if one spouse is a stay at home parent.

5. The parties have contempt for one another
Disrespecting, belittling each other and treating each other with disdain are huge indicators that the relationship may be reaching its end point. While no one expects spouses to agree on everything or see eye-to-eye all the time, respect and appreciation for each other’s differences is paramount even in the most difficult of situations.

6. The parties do not respect each other’s love language
Being aware of your partner’s feelings or how he or she feels appreciated is paramount in any relationship. While partners may be deeply in love with each other, one partner may not feel loved and feeling loved is crucial for long-term success in a marriage.

7. Couples are not honest about their spending
A marriage is first and foremost a partnership and when one spouse is hiding crucial financial information or hiding their spending, this can be a huge red flag. When finances are shared, it is easy for one party to overspend. When this occurs, it is nearly impossible to set reachable financial goals and this can cause great frustration.

8. The parties never fight
Many spouses tend to avoid uncomfortable situations by avoiding the truth or pushing it under the rug. This can lead to resentment. Couples should be able to say anything to each other and this sometimes comes with healthy fighting.

In conclusion, open communication, even involving healthy disagreements, is vital for a strong marital bond. Avoiding conflict often leads to resentment. For experienced guidance, consult a reputable advocate for relationship and family matters when facing complex challenges in your marriage.

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